One of the toughest terms of my liveness started October 27 of last year and is beneficial now ending. I had always thought of myself as a strong person until my boyfriend and first love, Daniel Langley, broke up with me. I went to pieces. I had neer felt so combat injury and abandon, non even so when my p arnts divorced and my dad go apart from me. My grades dropped in e truly class plainly I never said a word to any iodine.
        My friends were the first ones to nonice that I was not handling things rattling well anymore.
Every slender thing do me cry. If anyone even mentioned Daniels name I would prevail away and cry for 10 minutes. My sister was the next. My sister, Tara, and I ar very close. I guess you could say that she is my hero. She wanted to frame in me into counseling but I refused. She was the first one to sustain that I was depressed and that I had lost a pack of weight.
        Not that I did it on purpose but I nevertheless kind of forgot to eat. Even during the holidays I was just, never hungry. I was likewise quite all the time which is very comical because I am never quite especially nigh my sister. I slept all the time and was still tired most of the day. I just wanted to die and go to enlightenment where every thing is perfect and there is no vexation only overflowing joy. The more I thought around that the most I lost faith in God.
        I have been a strong Christian since close sixth grade but, I could not understand how God could let so much pain come to his faithful subatomic servant. I asked my youth pastor why there is insufferable pain brought upon Gods children and he could not give me an answer that gay me. I had always thought that God would protect me from harm. near importantly I thought that God would never allot you through and through anything you could not handle. I strongly believed that I could not handle my life at this point. Not only had my tenderheartedness been broken beyond repair and my God abandon me, indorse versa in genuinelyity, but my mom and I fought almost every day and there was the threat of loosing our home.
        After I had dogged that there must be no God at all things got worse, and I looked to friends for comfort. The thing with my friends is that they were Daniels friends that I had adopted as my own. So in reality they were not my friends at all. Daniel had moved in June ahead we had broken up so that was at least not a problem. My friends would often ask about him and I had to remind his so called best friends of his birthday. By the time I had made my own friends I had already been through two boyfriends that were more of a rebound thing, who also disadvantage my badly.
        Angela Montogomery, one of my new friends, is a very out communicate person and abrasive if you do not discern her very well. She more or less snapped my into reality that Daniel was out of my life. Angela also got my to realize that more things went vilify in my life because I turned away from God. When I felt the most alone and had no one I should have turned to Him, but I did not. I did not forgive God just yet because I was still in much pain.
        I took up the activity of partying. That is not the best thing to do when you are depressed.
I was introduced to alcohol. On February 11, the day we started dating was one of the worst days for me. So the next weekend I decided that I would try out drinking. I result never do that again, it s autoed me so badly. I could not remember whatever things and to top it off I got very grounded. My mom called my cell to tell me to come home and I was so scared, eating Taco Bell does nothing. I had to look out over Sadies which, Daniel went to. Knowing that he went to my Sadies and I could not go made me very angry with my mom. Since I had decided on my own to never drink again.
        Having my mom and I not decease made things much harder for me. Also, my dad promised to get me a car on my birthday, which he did not do or even attempt. So I decided to get myself a job. That changed my likely substantially. Not only was I away from my mom considerably I saw how different things are in the real world. I got myself employed at Posados.
Restaurant business is not always pleasant and since I am a stewardess everyone thinks they can yell at me. After about a month of working there I made friends with some of the servers. I have learned a great select from them and now I look up to a few. I have always been open-minded and they showed me new ways of cerebration and to look from a different prospective.
        I went to church camp out this year right after school got out for pass and made my peace with God. Everyone said that it will get better. They were wrong and time dose not heal all wounds. attainment who you are and what you want from life and having love in your life is the only thing that helps pain. It is funny love and pain go hand in hand.
        I saw Daniel the week before school started up again, he came up to my work with a bunch of friends and he was totally inebriated. I felt sour form him and that was all. No more pain. My mom and I are getting along better. We only see each some other about a total of 30 minutes a day but, it is almost always a hot 30 minutes. I love school, I love to learn, so I am constantly busy with school, home work, and work. I am exhausted but, I am happy. I am a good person and trying to be a good Christian. I am content with life and I know now I can handle anything that comes my way.
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